Rae Richmond, Nita Marie & Lily Craven on Facing Stigma

LOS ANGELES—One of the most challenging components of being an online sex worker is the social stigma that inevitably rears its head—being ousted from community circles, shunned by friends and family, and so on.  For adult performer and independent content creator Rae Richmond, this stigma presented itself in her hometown. A public relations representative for Richmond sent AVN and other outlets a statement outlining how the model now faces a “new normal she now lives in amongst the cloud of hushed judgment that lingers over her small Southern town.”  The Daily Star, a viral tabloid based in the United Kingdom, picked up Rae Richmond’s story, as have a few other outlets. Speaking with AVN, she said that she feels like a pariah in her town. “I absolutely was otherized by most of the people in my hometown, and many of them came at me directly while others preferred to talk about me instead of to me,” Richmond disclosed.  “Absolutely no one has had the courage to come out in vocal support for me in my new career choice,” she continued. “My oldest and dearest ‘friend’ took it upon herself to accuse me of having ‘turned my back on God’ and judgmentally exclaimed that I was ‘serving Satan’ instead! I’ve been called a ‘dirty whore’—even though the only person I am intimate with is my long-term boyfriend.” Her content often features scenes with her boyfriend and solo scenes. “There is most definitely a religious component, but the judgmental attitude of some of these people makes it easy to see how certain people are driven away from the idea of religion,” she explained. “I am a Christian, a believer and follower of Jesus myself, and I [even] attend church regularly. I don't feel like my career choice, and that aspect of my life is in any way exclusive of each other, regardless of the small-minded opinions of some people who profess Christianity.” Richmond also explained that she believes that a generational bias is at play in this stigma. She is open about her age. At 56, she is among the top three percent of OnlyFans creators from around the world. There is an audience for her content, and she’s earning a significant income already.  Despite all of this, critics—including in her personal life—can’t get past her age. “As a 56-year-old content creator, most of the people in my peer group are ‘older’ and seem to be a bit more rigid in what they believe to be socially acceptable. I do not concern myself with what they are doing in their bedrooms, but some of them seem to be obsessed with what I'm doing in mine. I'm not sure if it's the fact that I have wild sex with my 36-year-old boyfriend that disturbs them the most or if it is because we chose to let people watch via the internet.  “Either way, that is 100% their issue and not mine,” Richmond declared. A pair of other MILF adult performers, Nita Marie and Lily Craven, shared with AVN that stars like Richmond should remember their power as content creators.  “I have lost friends over my career choice,” said Marie. “But thankfully, I have also gained way more than I have lost. I do think some people lost respect for me with my career choice, but I also gained respect in the online porn industry with many more than I lost as well.” Marie, also a women’s empowerment coach and OnlyFans creator, said she has been outcasted in a way that is similar to Richmond, “not because of my age but just because of porn itself.”  “Many of my Christian friends outcast me,” Marie said. “But many of my [closest] Christian friends loved me anyway, which I am grateful for.”  Marie also found solace in the fans and colleagues she’s connected with through her platforms.  Lily Craven, a content creator and podcast host, spoke a similar tune to Marie about stigma. “It's true that some people might perceive me differently because of my career, and that's okay,” she said. “Opinions vary, and I respect that. I choose not to engage with those who are against my choices, focusing on mutual respect. I've gained more friends within the industry than I've lost.” Craven also explained that she is proud to be of a certain age in the adult entertainment industry. “I actually believe being over 40 is an advantage in the adult industry,” said Craven. “With the life experiences and knowledge I have gained over the years, I'm better equipped to handle the industry's demands. Plus, there's a certain appeal to older women that everyone seems to love.” Considering the words of Marie and Craven, Richmond has a similar outlook on her career. “I have no intention of slowing down or stopping,” Richmond concluded.  “[W]e are just getting started! My advice to other content creators is to stay true to yourself and your vision. Remember who you are and why you chose to do this.”