Commentary: Goddess Nikki Kit On How to Avoid Scams

Goddess Nikki Kit is the founder of DIYFemDom.com. Find more of her work on AVN Stars at @goddessnikkikit.    I recently wrote an article about staying safe in the online adult industry, and I decided potential scams needed their own, as losing out on money is nowhere near as dramatic as losing your sense of security. There are many ways that potential clients will attempt to scam you. I say "will" because I promise you that you will encounter this several times a day, depending on how you run your business. I am going to go over some of the most common sense scams, all the way to the more obscure scams that I have found that many people insist aren't scams. I just want to ensure that you receive every dollar you earn and never fall victim to a scam. I have before, and it feels disgusting when you realize your time or even money was stolen from you. The Wishlist scam If you do so choose to have a publicly available wishlist, you will come across this one often. Many clients will attempt to exchange services for gifts rather than money. This method of spoiling is not something that I partake in, but many girls do. If you do want to offer services in exchange for gifts, I implore you not to provide the service until the physical item is in your hands. I would wager that about half of the time someone purchased something from my wishlist that was not a known client, they had every intention to cancel the purchase. The thing is, most activity online does not occur during regular business hours. So if the sub "purchases" a gift such as a $1K television at 11:30 p.m., he has hours or even days of opportunity to cancel the order before it ships. They could have purposely purchased it with a credit card that they knew was no good. I have even heard stories of them canceling the order right as it was being delivered. As the buyer, they have every right to cancel the order before it reaches your hands. Many men will buy hundreds or thousands of dollars worth of "gifts" only to reap the potential immediate rewards of spoiling you in such a manner. They may demand private shows, or just extra attention and special treatment for that night. They may just want to get off on the idea of spending so much money on a girl but can't afford to do it, so they fake it. I avoided these scams by not even acknowledging that a gift was purchased until it arrives. I instructed them to leave their username on the gift note if they wanted acknowledgment of any kind. If someone keeps talking about the gifts they are buying you but aren't sending money in any other way, they are probably not going to spend money. If you accept Amazon gift cards as a tribute, be prepared to spend them immediately upon receiving them, as those can also be canceled. If someone cancels a gift card that you have already spent, Amazon will start to look into your account and could potentially shut down your entire Amazon account. I have a separate account to use for this, as I had too much digital media in my Amazon library to risk losing over a sub canceling a $50 gift card. If you choose to use Amazon, be mindful of the risks. I advise not accepting Amazon GC or gifts as payment for services at all, and only as spoiling. When you take it as a form of payment, it attracts these nefarious types of people, unfortunately. Some people spend hours each week trying to find girls to scam for their jerk-off material, and I make it a point to do what I can to keep them away from me. I'm more worried about paying my bills and saving money than I am about receiving gifts. The Third-Party Payment Scam Aside from the potential safety risks of accepting third party payments, there are other risks involved as well. Many of our clients experience buyers' remorse or never intended to pay us. No matter the reason, if they dispute a payment on a third-party payment app, you will lose every time. They have upwards of 30 days to dispute a payment on there as well. You will not only be forced to return their money to them; you will probably be banned entirely from that app, meaning that you won't even be able to use it in your personal life. Like with the wishlist scam, many people make it a point to target models who accept third-party payment apps intending to get their payment app shut down after they get a free session. Some will even try to blackmail you by threatening to close your payment app. I have used them in the past, and allow trusted subs to use them to this day. But in my opinion, as a general way to accept payment, it's just not worth it. I'm banned from almost all of them at this point, and I did lose a lot of money. Trust me; it feels disgusting to provide a service and realize you did it all for nothing. If you only accept payments through adult websites, the issue then becomes between the disgruntled client and the company. Most reputable adult companies have chargeback protection so that if they do have to give the client their money back, they don't take it away from you. As long as you can confirm with the company that you did, in fact, provide the agreed-upon service in exchange for the payment, you are usually fine. If you do choose to use third-party payment processors and accept the risk, be prepared for them to be shut down, and please don't rely on them. I only allow "trusted" subs who have spent thousands on my preferred platforms to also send via other methods. By doing this, I prevent those who are only interested in scamming me from shutting down my few remaining platforms. If someone is entirely unable to use an adult payment platform to pay you, there is probably a reason. It's just probably not whatever reason they are trying to give you. More than likely, it's because they are trying to scam you. The Fake Tip/Tribute Scam This one I only ran across in my very early days of live camming in public chatrooms, and every time I open a new account, as I think they know it only works on newer models. There is a way that clients can fake token tips on some cam sites. They would send an image that looks exactly like what would pop up on the screen if someone sent you a considerable tip. The way to avoid this is to simply make sure that you keep an eye on your overall token balance throughout your stream so that you can identify fake tips. There should also be a record available of all tips you have received, and you can check their tip against that record. It will look slightly different than the actual notification, and won't generate the tip noise that usually comes from the website. Be wary of anything appearing out of place online. There is also a version of this Scam where people will contact you (usually on a different platform) and claim that they have already sent you a tribute. They may even provide shockingly realistic screenshots of said tribute. Often, these people are very urgent about their need for whatever service they are trying to purchase, and are cryptic when you ask for more information to verify their tribute. They may even try to guilt-trip you for not acting promptly. Don't perform any services until you are sure that you have been paid. You can verify if they sent money or not, and always check if there is a doubt in your mind. There is no long waiting period to be notified that you have been paid, it should be posted on the platform instantly. Don't let them convince you that it is still processing. If that is the case, the processing time shouldn't be more than 15 minutes on an adult platform. The exception to this is there is often a waiting period for third-party payment apps and delivery of online gift cards, but I advise against using those as payment for services anyway. Either way, wait until the amount is listed in your account and or spent. The Blackmail/Exposure Scam This one may be obvious to some and not so apparent to others. Some subs enjoy the sensation of being exposed online. These people know that nobody is going to go to their Twitter page to see them wearing a dress (or whatever else they want to be exposed). They know that if they can get these images posted on your page, that far more people will see it. Again, they tend to target newer dommes, so be prepared for this one. While some subs desire to be exposed, many fear it. Often they will pretend to be fearful of being exposed and send you their compromising photos and say something along the lines of, "If you posted these, I would have to pay you so much money to get you to take them down." That one is a little obvious, but they come at this one from many different angles. Basically, they want you to "blackmail" them by posting their images and demanding they pay you so that you remove them. Doing this is just wrong for so many reasons. First of all, you have no idea who is in the pictures, and unless they signed all of the right paperwork, you do not legally have the right to post it on your page. That's right; you could face legal ramifications for your actions. If you do post their images and demand money to remove them, that is actual extortion, and again you could go to jail. Or even worse, the pictures that they sent you could be of a minor. You just don't know, and it is best to err on the side of caution. If you do wish to get involved in blackmail/extortion games online, you should talk to a lawyer first. Legality issues aside, they are ultimately trying to get something out of you without paying for the experience by pretending that it is a different experience they are seeking. While you are trying to blackmail them into paying you to remove their images, they are jerking off to how many people have seen their pictures because that is what they wanted all along. Avoid this by telling them there's a base price to be posted on your page for any reason. Once they realize they have to pay no matter what, the scammers will move on to the next model in their queue. You can generally feel someone out in less than 5 minutes to see if they are legitimate. Don't let them tell you when they pay, charge them for any fetish-related interaction. Anything can be a kink, so charge for all of your attention and time to avoid these people. You're in control. Some of them may even try to irritate you into posting the images they sent you in an attempt to "shame" them. Again, they're jerking off to the free interaction you are giving them. Being publicly shamed was probably their kink, and you just broadcasted to other people watching that if they annoy you enough, you will also post their DMs and shame them for free. There is another variety of this Scam known as the "RT Game" where you post a picture of them, and they pay you based on how many likes/comments/retweets the post gets over so much time. Sometimes there is the stipulation that they must pay that amount to remove it, sometimes they're just expected to pay it. This one seems obvious, but they're looking for exposure with the promise of paying after they've been exposed. Sometimes these requests are valid but risky. Always get a deposit that is the minimum you're willing to accept to play the game, as it may be all you receive. Also, when you are posting images and videos of people, remember you have absolutely no idea if it is them within the video. You could be opening yourself up to a lawsuit. The Verification Video Scam This Scam is an interesting one because they usually lead by informing you that they have been scammed in the past by sending money to a fake Domme—often referring to a catfish account run by another man. Typically, they will reach out to you on social media and request that you verify that you are, in fact, who you say you are. It sounds innocent enough, but they usually have odd ways that they want you to verify your identity. Sometimes it will be sexual in nature and obvious, but sometimes they are just trying to get any scrap of your attention for free. Some men get off on just knowing that they made a girl on the internet do something they told them to do. It makes them feel special, I guess. There are some methods to avoid this, such as posting a public verification video where you face the camera with no filters, state your name, your username, and spell it out. Maybe kill two birds with one stone and declare your fetish interests. However, this looks somewhat unprofessional and inexperienced despite how many accounts you will see them on. It can even lead to more people requesting personalized verification videos, "just to be sure it's you." The real way to eliminate this Scam is just to get verified. Nobody online can verify you except a legitimate and respectable adult content platform. Any adult website requires copies of your ID as well as photos of you holding your ID to prove you are of legal age, and indeed whoever you say you are. They also require your social security number (or other identifying information) that verifies you can work for them and receive payment. Any other models who feature on your page must also be age/identity verified. I don't know about you, but that feels a whole lot more official to me than a video of me holding a spoon (yes, I had that request one time). Then, whenever someone requests verification before paying you, you can just direct them to your preferred adult platform where you are both verified and able to receive payments. If they refuse that form of verification (because for some reason, they doubt that it is you directing them to your website), invite them to DM you directly on said platform. If they continue to refuse that as a form of verification, move on. They're either fishing for free content or too paranoid to bother wasting that much time on. The Promotion Scam Again, this is a scam that mostly occurs on social media, but I have also seen it happen in live chat rooms. What new model wouldn't want to be seen by more potential customers? The fact of the matter is that the secret to building your fan base isn't some secret you need a sub or client to tell you. If you want to learn more about promoting yourself, check out AmberlyRothfield.com, but promotion and building up your brand are all up to you!  However, you will see many pages dedicated to promoting femdoms and findoms with a shockingly large following on Twitter. Many of these pages are part of "paid promo" groups that charge models to be featured on their page. They may promise you so many posts per week for x amount of money. Some models swear by these pages, but I am convinced they are a scam. I have been known to test them out in the past. They are 100% just a bunch of bot accounts interacting with each other. If you look through the following on these pages, it is mostly girls just like you who are getting started—the other majority of the following are bots, followed by freeloaders. Do you know who isn't following these pages? Customers who spend a lot of money. Okay, there are probably a few on there just by sheer odds. But do you think someone is scouring a page that posts hundreds of times a day for someone to spoil randomly? No, probably not. Tagging a bunch of promotion accounts or having your content retweeted by a bunch of bot accounts hurts the chances of your post being seen by the right people because it makes Twitter see the post as spam. If you do it too often, Twitter will mark your whole account as spam, and then your organic followers won't see your posts anymore. You may start to see a lot of retweets and likes on your posts, and even see your following spike after signing up. The truth is that these are worthless numbers, and you are hurting your account in the long run. The followers are mostly other promotion accounts and bots that the promotion accounts use to retweet your content. If you are going to spend $15-$50 per month (the going rates) on these pages in an attempt to market yourself, there are many more effective ways to spend that money and get a much higher return on your investment. Not all promotion pages require money to be retweeted, so they definitely can't be a scam, right? Wrong. Ever notice how a lot of these promo accounts each tend to promote a specific body type and or particular fetishes? Or how they demand you tag them in posts you want them to promote? They're just building a profile around free wank material for the account owner and their followers. The people who follow these accounts are again other models desperate for free promotion, or people looking for free jerk off material. If you want them to promote you in their post as opposed to just retweeting your content, they will usually expect some form of payment. Whether it be a free session, some "exclusive unseen photos" or a fan sign (seriously though, what Domme is going to write a man's name on her body?), they are going to request something from you in exchange for their promo. The bottom line, their promo isn't worth the cost. There are very few legitimate promo pages out there that would benefit you to be posted on, so few that it's hardly worth looking for them. The live chatroom portion of this Scam is just where people will come into your online chatroom and promise to get you higher room counts or more people spending money if you do XYZ. Ultimately, they're just looking for free interaction of some sort even if they don't demand something in return for their "promotion." They act like they have some secret to your success, and I promise you there's far more valuable information out there. Remember, you don't need your clients to teach you how to do your job. They have no idea what's behind the curtain in content production and cam work. The "but would you…?" Scam This Scam is one that you'll come across on all platforms and is super common. They seem like serious buyers, but they want to talk too much about the product or service before they buy it. If they're really obvious, they will even tell you upfront they can't pay until Friday. If someone is serious about a private show or buying a product, they send payment shortly after you tell them the price or confirm their desired experience is acceptable. The window shoppers try to eat up as much time as possible trying to go into excruciating detail about what you will or won't do in a show. Generally, it's extremely fetish-based in nature, and they're painting out their fantasies in excruciating detail. They have no intention of buying a show; they're jerking off to the conversation. The best way to avoid this is to just answer with "yes" or "no." Don't flirt with them. Keep it extremely professional until the money is in your hands. Some men get off on just dumping their fantasies in your inbox and knowing that you read them. The biggest spenders ask the least questions generally. The "Make me" Scam This one is a similar scam that you see on all platforms. They'll message you something along the lines of "I'm thinking about buying XYZ" or even more apparent, "Make me do XYZ." Or also the "Could you make me XYZ." They are just fishing for free dirty talk, I promise you. The exception to this could be someone asking your opinion on which clip to purchase, what service would be best to fit their needs, or if their fetish is one that you cater to. The best way to weed them out is to send back a list of fetishes/services/products and prices. It would be even better if you could just direct them to your main website, that's what I always do. If they are serious, they'll probably pick something off of the list. Again, if they're serious, they will pay quickly. If they are a freeloader, they will follow up with a lot of specific questions. A way to avoid those that are fishing for free dirty talk is to direct them to a paid chat platform of your choosing to "hear all about what I would make you do for me," or request tribute to continue the conversation if they insist that they need you to dominate them and make them pay or make them buy whatever it is they're "thinking about buying" they are just jerking off to the conversation, and it is time to move on. The Reloadable Gift Card Scam This is one that I hope should be common sense to most, but people must be falling for it because it has been around since the dawn of gift cards and scams. It is true that some people will choose to spoil you by sending you gift cards to use at your favorite places. If someone is serious about sending you a gift card, they will ask what places you accept gift cards for, and to what email address they should send the card. What they will not do is ask you to purchase something. Many "subs" and "sugar daddies" will claim to want to spoil you with thousands of dollars, but you have to go purchase a certain type of reloadable gift card that they will be putting money on. But, before they can load money onto the card YOU have to load a certain amount onto the card and give them the card information. Please don't fall for this. They are just collecting money from anybody gullible enough to fall for it. You don't have to send money to subs to make money.  Common sense rules to avoid scams •Assume anything and everything could be their fetish, and keep conversation on the topic of business and professional until payment has exchanged hands. Don't give them more than 2-3 minutes to get a read on them unless you are willing to lose that time. •Know the difference between a sent payment and a received payment. It's not yours until it's in your account. •NEVER deliver a service of any kind before payment has been received. This includes "cursing out" a freeloader. This includes "using them as an example" and posting screen shots to your page. •NEVER give out your online passwords for any reason. •NEVER click on suspicious looking links sent to you. •NEVER give out banking information for any reason. •NEVER under any circumstances send a client money. •NEVER send a client content without receiving payment. •Listen to your instincts. If something seems off, or too good to be true, it probably is. This is just a part of the Law of Attraction, but the truth of the matter is that the more energy you exhaust on dealing with scammers and freeloaders and complaining about scammers and freeloaders, the more subpar clientele like that you will attract. Rather than post about how many people tried to screw you over that day, post about the ONE good interaction you had that day. Don't post about anything unless you want to attract more of it, or it is something you think is necessary for your followers to know. As far as scammers and freeloaders go, LET IT GO! Yes, they exist. Everyone knows they suck. Close the window, block the individual if you must, move on. The more time you exhaust on subpar clientele, the less time you can spend finding a client you actually enjoy. If after reading these warnings a potential client displays any behavior that gives you a red flag, MOVE ON. You don't have to block people who don't seem aggressive or dangerous, as they may decide to pay appropriately one day. But it's ultimately up to you and what is best for your mental health. Never engage with trolls or argue with potential clients, it's just not worth it. Trust me, there's a lot of time I wish I was able to get back. It's not your job to change their opinion or justify your own, it's your job to make money. Photos courtesy of Goddess Nikki Kit