xHamster to Open Porn Valley Area Coffee Shop

Porn Valley — After launching a successful beer line in 2016, adult brand xHamster is moving into hotter territory, with a ground floor retail coffee shop in the Chatsworth area of Los Angeles’ San Fernando Valley.

xHamster with Cream will bring the company’s unique sense of style to an 18+ customer base, featuring adult-themed custom drinks and free, unfiltered WiFi. Those working in the adult industry will receive a 50 percent discount on drinks, with proof of a current PASS test. In addition, the company has developed a system that will allow fans to pre-purchase drinks for their favorite performers.

xHamster was inspired to enter the space when other corporate brands began to police what sites users visited on the premises. In the last year, more and more mainstream restaurants, including Starbucks, have installed filters to block sex-related content on their WiFi.

“With the increasing restrictions online — digital censorship in the UK and China, porn taxes in the US, bans on adult content on Facebook, Instagram and Tumblr, porn fans need a safe haven to get their fix,” said Alex Hawkins, Vice President of Retail Development.

“xHamster with Cream will provide customers with hot beverages and hotter content,” said Hawkins. “With Starbucks CEO Howard Shultz stepping down to run for US President, we sensed a market opportunity.”

Hawkins said the first outpost of the xHamster with Cream chain will be in on Topanga Canyon Blvd. at Roscoe, located conveniently between the El Pollo Loco and the Sunrise Christian Center. Additional locations, including Las Vegas, Berlin, San Francisco, Salt Lake City and Washington, DC, are scheduled for 2020 openings.

“We looked for locations with unusually high porn consumption,” Hawkins said. “They’re desperate for a fix.”

Hawkins promises the xHamster with Cream bathrooms will be large and private, with strong wifi connections even with a closed door.

While xHamster with Cream menus will vary from location to location, xHamster has released a secret menu for the San Fernando Valley’s April 1 opening.

Franchise opportunities available, jokesters!