Hey, Kids! There's a New CONSERVATIVE Facebook in Town!

CYBERSPACE—Sometime last year, Steven Andrew, pastor of the USA Christian Church, got pissed off that Facebook "block[ed] millions of people from getting his Christian messages of hope," but since Facebook doesn't really do that kind of shit willy-nilly, we're guessing that there was something less than truly Christian about what Andrew was posting. In any case, Andrew decided to use his "Silicon Valley leadership skills" to create a conservative Facebook alternative called USA.Life, which has been the talk of conservative religious circles for at least a year—and now it's finally here! "I was shadow-banned by Facebook and was blocked from 99% of my 5 million person monthly reach," Andrew stated in a press release dated today, "so I decided to make USA.Life, the Facebook alternative, where conservative views are openly shared." The new site, which is billed as "pro-Christian and pro-American," promises to be an online destination where "people [can] speak freely about life, liberty and happiness"—and let's face it: what subject is more about "life, liberty and happiness" than sex? Even before it found its place on the web, 10,000 people pre-joined the site pre-launch, and another 12K pre-registered and are just waiting for their accounts to be activated. That's 22,000 potential viewers of what adult performers have to offer! "USA.Life is needed, because Facebook's censorship affects elections, finances, relationships and national security," Andrew claimed in his press release. Know what else Facebook is censoring? Hardcore porn and even a bunch of porn that isn't hardcore—and since USA.Life claims to be about "life, liberty and happiness," we have to wonder what they'd do if a bunch of porn and cam stars opened their own free accounts on the site and started displaying their "liberty" and possibly even their "happiness"? Or as the press release says, "To get a free account, visit: www.USA.Life." (And let AVN know about your success!)