From Farm Boy to CockyBoy: The Carter Dane Story

Photos by Keith Munyan from Carter Dane's cover shoot for the newly launched magazine AVN Men. There are two sounds that Carter Dane would rather forget: horses, and The Nutcracker. Both are tied to bad memories, each related to falls that broke his tibias. The first came when he was growing up on his family’s dairy farm in the Eastern Townships of Quebec. “My parents had horses, but I fell off one when I was 8—and not just fell off, but the horse reared, when it goes up on his hind legs,” he says, mimicking the sound that terrified him and broke his left tibia. “So I’m not a huge fan of horses.” Otherwise, growing up on a farm with three siblings provided an idyllic childhood. Dane would rise early and help his parents with chores. “It was a lot of fun, actually. Until you’re a teenager, it’s really nice. You have all the open space and everything.” As a fan of Harry Potter and Lord of the Rings, he made his own bows and arrows, “which were very sad … but I guess parents thought it was cute with the little cape and everything.” Dane was also surrounded by animals. He loved many a golden retriever and lots of cats, but developed an allergic reaction to the latter after moving to the city (“I can’t be around them any more”). He also got to milk cows—among other less enjoyable procedures. “I did inseminate cows a couple times. That was not fun, because your entire arm is up in there. After all that, I feel like I should be into fisting or something nowadays … but nope! Definitely not. Quite the contrary, I think it might have traumatized me more than anything.” His surroundings also gave him a more realistic outlook—one that didn’t always come in handy when it came to finding enjoyment in a popular childhood pastime. “Here’s the thing,” he laughs. “With movies like Lion King and everything, I got really mad, even when I was younger. I never really got into the magic of it all because my animals were not talking to me, so why on earth would those animals talk in the movies? It didn’t make sense to me, because the cows weren’t responding to me when I was talking to them. So I didn’t like those movies.” The moment he and his siblings turned 5 and started elementary school, they were required by their parents to do extracurricular activities—including one sport and something related to arts. Dane was on his school swim team, was in arts and crafts, and also played Kin-Ball. Wait … what? “Nobody knows what Kin-Ball is. My brother was making fun of me because he said it was an overweight person’s sport, and I was not overweight. I was really mad at him for saying stuff like that; he thought it didn’t require much energy,” Dane laughs. “But it was fun. It was like this ginormous ball. Whenever I talk about it, nobody has ever heard of it—so now I’m starting to wonder if it’s a made-up sport. But we had regional competitions with other schools.” His athletic prowess served him well through his youth, and stayed with him through the next phase of his life. And that’s when it happened again. The Second FallNearly a decade after falling off that horse, Dane finished high school and moved to Montreal. In college, he got into theater and then capitalized on his gymnastics experience to train for ballet. “My athletic background and the fact that I was fairly flexible allowed me to join a profession program for ballet, even though I started fairly late. But then again, I’m a man, and men are always in demand in the dancing world, so that helped,” he recalls. “I was in this acting program and I wanted to find a way to mix art and physical activity. I was very in tune with my body, and I just like expressing myself with it—probably a little too much with my hands sometimes.” One of his movement teachers told him about a respected program. They took Dane in, and after a few years of training he joined the main Montreal company … then he got injured. “Again, it was my tibia,” he laughs. “An open fracture of my right tibia. I did a grand jeté, like a split jump, and on the landing, I landed on another person’s cape … he moved and I moved. My knee went one way, and my ankle when the other way. So that was the end of that. I still like Christmas … but I don’t like The Nutcracker anymore.” But if it weren’t for that injury, who knows if Dane’s life would have followed the same path. “After my injury in ballet, I pretty much stopped most performing arts … I was in theater also. Montreal theater is not very thriving, and definitely not the English side. And unfortunately, the French side—once you have an English accent like I did after taking classes in college—they really don’t take you seriously. They also have very different types of views in terms of the acting and everything. So I stopped doing most performances. And I also had to stop for a few months to move. I had to find a new way to figure myself out,” he says. “I had also realized that I had a little bit of an eating disorder, being in that kind of environment. I remember reflecting on it all when I was by myself, by the water. I just started asking myself if I was actually happy … like, even if I healed, did I actually want to go back to ballet? And I realized that I wasn’t actually happy. It was something I liked to do for fun at first, not professionally where you had to deal with all the pressure that goes with it. So that’s why I decided to work on that problem—the understanding of what I really wanted out of life, and who I really was. It took me a couple of years to re-figure myself out, and then when I finally felt like I was in a good place, I did miss a bit of the performance aspect of things.” Fast forward to Dane’s 24th birthday. “I went to a strip show, and I was like, ‘I can do this! I can totally do this!’ Like, the entire night, I was just saying that. And my friends would pull up a site, and you know how at the bottom it says ‘Become a model’? They were like, ‘Oh yeah? You say you can do stuff like that? Go ahead and do it!’ And that’s how it started. It was me being drunk and thinking I could do anything.” It was an idea he had toyed with before, but the stereotypes surrounding adult work always stopped him. “In the performing world, I lost track of the amount of times I would hear the joke, ‘Well, you can always become a porn star if nothing else!’ You wouldn’t be seen well. It’s like, a failed performer becomes a porn performer,” Dane laughs. “So because of that, I was like, ‘Hell no, I’m not gonna do that.’ But then again, there was a huge part of me that was always attracted to that. I’m very comfortable with my body, I like expressing myself with my body, I do love sex.” So he applied as a joke. When he got a response, he initially hesitated. “But then I realized, you know what, I don’t want to wake up at 40 and feel like I missed out on doing it, you know? While I’m in my youth, my prime, I might as well just do it. This way, I won’t have any regrets. That’s one of the things I worked on during those two years to better myself. I don’t want to be super cliché, like ‘Living every day like it’s your last!’ But it was more like I just don’t want to have regrets. Now of course I wonder, ‘Will you do things that will give you regrets in a few years?’ Maybe. But in this case, I really don’t see porn fueling any regrets later on in my life, because so far, it’s been a great experience. And I found my husband that way, so I definitely can’t be mad,” Dane laughs, referring to his 2018 marriage to Alex Mecum. On the DownloadDane always found uniforms sexy, a seed that was planted before he was a teenager. “My family’s doctor is gay, so I think after I found that out when I was 12 or so—when he did my first exams—I guess he just became at the forefront in my head at all times … even though I don’t think I would have,” he says, as if he’s still unsure. “I think the first porn movie I ever watched was from Men at Play, and it was a doctor with all these dildos; he performs this exam. That was definitely one of my favorites of all time growing up. I’m someone that’s not super into a ‘dom top,’ but someone in charge turns me on, so I guess that’s where it comes from. And the internet was so slow where we grew up that downloading one movie would take a whole day of me shutting off the screen and hoping that nobody went on it. So I would cherish those few movies that I was able to download. They were literally more important than my life.” Those earlier experiences discovering himself prepared Dane for that big step he was set to make at 24. “My family is very progressive thinking, and Quebec in general is. Times have changed and they keep on changing, and things become easier and easier. So by the time I had to come out, it was fairly easy.” But his burgeoning sexuality was also tortuous at times, Dane recalling stories of playing around with a boy his age during family gatherings—and being pretty sure some people figured out what was going on. “I could have come out at like 12, but that probably set it back a few years. I got scared a little bit by that. So I finally came out when I was 16; luckily I was in a fine arts and music high school, so everyone in it was more on the artistic side and very open about sexuality. We had a lot of gay and lesbian couples at the school just walking around hand in hand, and it was great. So that was a good environment to come out in.” He started by coming out to all of his friends, but waited a few years to take the next step. “My family though—just in case things went south—I decided to wait until I was 18. The day I turned 18 was when I told them. They all knew already. I was already inviting boys over and everything, and the boys were not subtle—in any way. I probably wasn’t either. So because of that, I feel like … yeah, they knew. It was no surprise at all.” By that time, Dane already had a good four years of “very promiscuous” experiences to build upon. At 14 years old, his parents would go out every Friday night (“they wanted to keep the spark or whatever”). His brother was often away for hockey, and his older sister was already away from home. Dane was the one in charge of his little sister. “And the moment she was in bed, I was on the computer doing gay chat roulette and stuff,” he laughs. “When I was 14, I was doing these cam shows—like shower shows and stuff, shoving like cucumbers up my ass because I didn’t have access to anything better than that. At that point, horny as I was, that and carrots were the best I could do.” It was the logical progression of a young man comfortable with his body and performing, which continued through his experiences in sports and performing arts. “During ballet, we were pretty much half-naked the entire time in just our dance belt, which is basically like a G-string. Even in swimming, those swim trunks or so tiny. So being that I was comfortable with showing my body, I wasn’t ashamed of it. And then the moment I officially accepted the fact that I was gay, I became a total man whore for a little bit—at the detriment of the feelings of some people, which is unfortunate. I do feel bad about that, but in the long run, I think they just forgot about it all and it ended up better.” Getting CockyBy the time Dane arrived for his first shoot—a scene with Diego Sans for Men.com in 2016—he was “definitely nervous.” And despite his performing arts background and a few filming gigs, he had to adjust to the stop-and-start nature of the business. He also had to adjust with what he initially (and mistakenly) perceived as disinterest from his scene partner—who Dane laughs was expecting “a super hairy, super tall black dude.” “And I’m like, ‘Oh my god, he hates me or he thinks I’m not attractive at all or something.’ So here goes the minimal self-esteem that I had in the first place. You think you’re self-confident until you actually get on the set, and then you’re like, ‘Eh, am I though? Am I actually as confident as I think I am? Am I actually as sexually appealing as I think I am?’ So that was definitely all running through my head.” But the shoot went well, and on their day off they went exploring together. “He was super, super sweet, so it changed my opinion on everything, a complete 180. That’s where he explained to me what happened earlier in his day and what he had been expecting, and everything made sense.” Dane soon had a shoot with Falcon and Men at Play, but it was his arrival at CockyBoys where he found his new home. He debuted in a scene with Colby Keller, was soon paired with Mecum, and most recently appeared in the first chapter of the All Saints series, which enabled him to indulge in his acting background again. “It’s definitely fun to dabble back into that … I can brush up back on those skills and yet not have the pressure of feeling that I need to overly impress with them; like, I’m not trying to find an agent or anything,” he laughs. The performance earned him GayVN Award nominations for Best Actor and Best Duo Sex Scene (with Levi Karter), and the film picked up wins for Best Feature and Best Director. Dane also won the fan award for Favorite Body at the ceremony in January. “They’re very much a family. They’re always very nice to us and they always listen to us…that’s one of the reasons I chose to sign with them,” Dane says. “On most of the scene shoots, it’s just RJ Sebastian who’s there to film, while with other studios there are like three to five other people on set. It’s great working with him and I find him really funny, so that takes the edge off, too. If you’re a little nervous, laughing is the best medicine. And the fact that he’s alone makes it like he’s someone who’s just spying on you, so it feels more like he’s just watching us rather than an entire team lurking over us.” And the scene with Keller—whom Dane was a fan of—went better than he could have imagined. “With Colby, it was like constant. We didn’t separate for like six-and-a-half hours straight, which was very interesting, and very enjoyable. It was just like pure lust for that long. And then you had RJ there like a voyeur with a camera, so it was like a perfect storm. It really worked out very well, and I really like the way that they treated us. They always make sure they ask me about the models, because they want a scene with as much passion and connection as possible between the two performers, as much energy flowing between us. That’s another thing that attracted me to them. It’s not just a business to them—I mean, obviously it is, because it’s their money maker. But they don’t treat us just like numbers.” A Vulnerable PlaceCompared to many performers, Dane admits he doesn’t film a lot. “I film very little for multiple reasons, including schedule; but one of the reasons is that I’ve come to realize, mostly with the people that I’ve shot with at CockyBoys, that I personally can’t film unless I have some kind of connection with a person. If not, I’m going to start feeling nervous.” It reminds Dane of his earlier experiences acting on stage—where he learned a lesson that has served him well. “I was so nervous and my teacher was telling me, ‘Put the heat on the other person.’ And as long as you put the heat on the other person in the scene with you—if you think only about them—then you won’t have all these other thoughts creeping in, like of the audience watching. So I realize I do that as well in my personal and professional sexual life.” When it comes to finding a connection with scene mates, the method has been a blessing and a curse. “How can I say this … when you get thinking of someone, it puts you in a very vulnerable place, and my only way to counteract that is by being vulnerable in every other way. I stay very open as much as I possibly can, to create a connection as strong as I can with someone on set even though we just met. It’s short, usually a day or two, so you don’t have time to know everything about each other. Point is, I open myself up to trying to create these connections with the performers. And then every time the scene would end, like four times out of five—and it sounds super cheesy and over-dramatic, but I’m a bit of a drama queen I guess—I would feel a little heartbroken. Not big heartbeat that lasts a month, but just a little. You feel like crying a little because it’s over, even though I don’t know everything about this person and I’m not deeply in love. “I’ve kind of learned that it’s okay to fall in love with someone, even if it’s just for 24 hours. There are so many different types of love, but this whole industry really put into perspective how I feel about that and how I feel about connecting with someone. I would connect with these performers and then feel sad when we would have to part ways. So because of that, I was like, ‘There’s no way I can date another performer, because I can’t trust myself.’ I can’t trust my instincts if I can fall for someone so rapidly. I don’t know who they are. I’m just going to set myself up for disappointment every time. So I had this rule about not dating people you work with, because it usually doesn’t end too well. But then Alex…” Above, Carter Dane and Alex Mecum; photo by Keith Munyan London CallingCarter Dane and Alex Mecum did a scene for CockyBoys that debuted in November of 2016. “We spend two days together, and again, after he left, I was having a bit of a heartbreak. But then we contacted each other again, like right away the next day. He had left already, and we were just talking on the phone and everything … we just started sharing more and more stuff. But then it kind of died down.” They kept in contact for about a month, and then Christmas came. The two got busy with their own lives, and kind of lost contact. Dane then found himself in London with a friend—and saw an Instagram post by Mecum, who by chance was also there. “He was at St Paul’s Cathedral, which was two street corners away from where I was … like, no way! And the trip with my friend was not going so well. You know, you don’t know someone until you travel with them—and then you know whether it’s a relationship that can stay or go, and this was definitely a relationship that was going nowhere. I was getting very frustrated, and when I saw Alex it was such a savior moment,” Dane laughs. “It was like a light came through … like an ‘Aww!’ moment. St Paul’s Cathedral probably helped with that.” Mecum told Dane which hotel he was staying at. Insert Roadrunner cartoon dust here. “The moment I got in the lobby and I saw him—he has the most welcoming smile and he’s so sweet. He emanates niceness and comfort. He hugged me and I started crying and was like, ‘I’m so glad that you’re here!’ I was really happy to see him, and I didn’t know why I was this happy to see him. You know that feeling like when your knees are a little week? Again, super cliché. My god, I’m like a cliché on two legs. But it’s true … I just wanted to like fall into his arms and just fall asleep right there. We were standing inside a crowded lobby, so it probably was not the smartest thing to do. But I definitely wanted to just stay there forever. After that moment, it was clear to me that I wanted to be with him. But again, we’re talking about two days here that we spent together.” Two weeks later, they saw each other again. And they commuted for a year, slowly shattering Dane’s perception that long-distance relationships can’t work. “We made it work, and that’s where I was like, ‘I’ve never put this much effort in before. I’ve never wanted something to work so badly.’ He would come to Montreal when he could, but he was in school so it was harder for him. We worked so hard for it, but it was easy; it wasn’t hard for me to do that, I just wanted to. So something that seemed so complicated was actually so simple and easy, and came so natural to us. That’s when I started writing my vows; all of that came back to me, and it just felt right.” But it also felt strange in a way to Dane, whose parents were high school sweethearts who took seven years to get married—and another five years to have a kid. “I’m used to that kind of courtship … that’s more what I would consider the norm, at least up here in Quebec—at least for most of my friends. So it’s weird how quickly this moved with us. But at the moment I was writing my vows, it just all made sense.” The two got hitched April 14 in Quebec, a simple and small wedding with family. “It was very charming and pretty with the snow and everything, but we got a bit of heat from that because we didn’t invite everyone. So we’re going to do a reception next September because I want a fall wedding as well with the leaves and everything. We’re going to have a reception so we can invite extended family and friends, and his family will come up as well to Quebec.” The pair was also a striking vision during the GayVN Awards weekend in Las Vegas last month, making party appearances together and looking sharp as they walked hand-in-hand down the red carpet. Ever the gentlemen, the two also playfully argued—long after the ceremony crowd had dispersed and they shared a quiet moment together in the lobby of The Joint at the Hard Rock Hotel & Casino—that it was the other who deserved the Best Body award (“He has the best body I’ve ever seen in my entire life—he deserves it,” cooed Dane) before escaping together for a late night meal. Air TimeFor Dane, this new life is a comfort. By his own account, he’s not a big social butterfly. “I try to pretend like I am sometimes, then I do it for two hours and I’m exhausted, so I need to retreat back into my home and just pretend like I’m alone in the world. I think my friends would say that I’m loyal—I’m very loyal to my friends and to the people that I love. I’ll do anything for them. I think they think I’m kind of funny, but that’s debatable, since when I see them, we have a few drinks—so their opinion doesn’t count anymore at that point.” One of the reasons for his lighter workload in front of the camera is his busy schedule behind it, and above it—Dane has been pursuing his pilot’s license. “When I stared at first, it was just to get my private license so I could fly with my dad, but then I found out that I really enjoyed it. But beyond just enjoying flying, I actually enjoy the engineering part of it, so I’m debating going into an aeronautical engineer program afterward—but that will take a few years because right now, I can’t go back to school. I need to work a little bit.” He also might pursue an instructor’s license; he has his commercial and private licenses, and is just missing instrument ratings before he can officially pilot commercial flights with airlines (those will come soon, when better weather arrives). “This past year, I stopped filming for a little bit. The only thing I was filming was All Saints. I stopped for a few reasons, including my scheduling with school. Now that I’m pretty much done with my pilot’s license, it’s opening up some free time.” That means more shoots, and if 2019 goes his way, Dane would love to work with Austin Wolf, Cade Maddox and his husband. “Alex and I are thinking about shooting another scene together. Physically, I didn’t think I was at my best when we filmed a few years ago. So I really want to redeem that because I can’t watch it; I’m really annoyed with the way I looked. He was definitely okay with it, and I was okay with it in the moment, too. But when I first started seeing things come out like pictures, I was like, ‘Umm, no.’ I was not at my prime. Too much baking for the week before, way too much baking,” he laughs. “I love baking, but can’t eat most of the stuff I make.” Dane also doesn’t consider going to the gym a hobby: “I do enjoy it, but I just don’t want to define myself though that. I hate leg day. Alex loves it; he like lives for it. It’s such a big muscle group that I find it really exhausting. So your brain knows it’s exhausting, so it doesn’t want to do it. But I should be focusing on legs, because let’s face it, that’s my money maker—that booty—so maybe I should appreciate it a little bit more.” His fans will have plenty of opportunity to appreciate it, too. Dane was recently in Paris for a project with Pink TV, and is finishing up All Saints before tackling new projects. “I was just starting—and then I kind of like stopped and took a break right away. But it was probably good for my mental health. At the same time, I just feel like now I really need to give it a good go this next year or two, or however long it lasts. Now that my license is finished and I have more time, I really just want to dive right back in.” Make that fly.