Poly Play: It's All About Threesomes, Foursomes and Moresomes

Anka Radakovich's Sexplorations column ran in the November 2018 issue of AVN magazine. See the digital edition here. According to a recent study of sexual fantasies conducted by the Kinsey Institute, the number one fantasy of Americans is group sex. The desire to have a threesome—the number one sexual fantasy on many sex surveys up until this point—has been replaced by fantasizing about having sex with a bunch of people. The more the merrier! Since threesomes are so fun, why not make it a “foursome” or a “moresome”? With more people willing to embrace the polyamorous lifestyle, “poly porn” is on the rise. Swinging, which surfaced during the sexual revolution in the late 1960s, is back in again. Back in the ’60s swinger porn was made mostly in Sweden and Germany, where obscenity laws were not as strict. In 1968, when obscenity laws in America were loosened and the “Golden Age of Porn” was ushered in, “wife swap” porn with titles like Key Party began to surface. Take my wife please! And I’ll take yours! Today, the new terminology is called being a “Swally,” which is “a poly who swings.” Formerly known as “wife swapping.” (Or you could call it “wife-tasting.”) Millennials are more bisexual and more sexually curious than their parents’ generation, and they grew up watching more porn than Dad ever did. Jacky St. James, who directed The Swinger 7 for Sweet Sinner and The Swing Life for New Sensations, says, “I think swinging is popular because it appeals to this notion that relationships and marriages don’t have to be defined by tradition. That marriage isn’t the end of sexual exploration and that there are plenty of couples out there who can be happily married while enjoying sex with other people. Plenty of couples do it, and as younger generations grow up in a more liberal and open society, the idea of what a “traditional” marriage is is changing.” The Sexy Study Dr. Justin Lehmiller, a research fellow at the Kinsey Institute, recently released a book on America’s sexual fantasies. According to the survey, the most common sexual fantasy for Americans is group sex. The book Tell Me What You Want: The Science of Sexual Desire and How It Can Help You Improve Your Sex Life, was based on a study Lehmiller conducted with more than 4,000 people between the ages of 18 and 87 who completed an online survey over two years. The group sex revelation was in response to the question “What is your biggest sexual fantasy of all time?” The respondents were from all 50 states and included all races, sexual and gender identities. Lehmiller writes in his book, “The results of my investigation reveal that the single most popular sexual fantasy among Americans today is group sex. More than one-third of my participants described it as their favorite fantasy of all time. And when asked if they had ever fantasized about multi-partner sex before—not just whether it was their favorite fantasy—the vast majority of both men and women agreed.” The researcher notes, “Although men were more likely to have all of these multi-partner fan­tasies than women, it will surprise many to learn that the majo­rity of women reported having the fantasy.” Breaking it down even more, he says that when people were asked what kinds of group sex they wanted to do, 89 percent said threesome, 74 percent said orgies, and 61 percent said gangbangs. The ‘Game-Changing’ Orgy Film In 2011, the forever notorious Kink.com filmed An Open Invitation: A Real Swingers Party In San Francisco, which AVN described at the time as a “game changer.” The epic orgy film combined a scripted story of a married couple who hooks up with another married couple with a “reality show” atmosphere, and combined 15 real porn actors with 127 real swingers from the kinkster community in San Francisco. (These people know how to party.) The film was seen as moving polyamory and open relationships more into the mainstream, and a vehicle for couples to try out the fantasy at home before they actually participate in a real orgy themselves. Mickey Mod, a regular performer for Kink.com who played one of the “husbands” in the movie, went on to direct his own take on polyamory. Lucky Poly People Mod’s movie Luck of the Draw was nominated in the 2018 AVN Awards for Best Polyamory Movie. It also scored a nomination for “Best All Girl Group Sex Scene” for Siouxsie Q. “The film is very dear to my heart,” she says, “as it pulls a lot of content from my real life, including issues with polyamory, sex, work, and even podcasting. It demonstrates why commitment and honesty are so important when exploring non-monogamy.” Mod added that Siouxsie Q. “helped by authenticating trust and fidelity in open/poly relationships. This movie was really fueled by what was authentically happening in my life at the time,” he says. Siouxsie adds, “Mickey was truly able to capture the dynamic sexual and relationship cultures of the Bay Area.” Secret Swapping Secret Sex Society, directed by Luc Wylder for Fallen Angel TV/Adam & Eve, is scheduled for a February 2019 release. “My wife Alexandra Silk and I have been in the lifestyle and producing swinger films for many years,” says Wylder. The current volume of their swinging series for Adam & Eve Pictures is out now. The plot of Swingers Wife Swap 5: The Pajama Party goes like this: “All the wives brought their skimpiest nighties, but nothing stays on long at this couples-swapping overnight sex party! Packed with nothing but naughty swinging couples and an anything goes orgy finale.” No wonder nobody sleeps at the swingers’ sleepover. Sexutainment “We are both doctors of human sexuality and integrate our educational information into our couples entertainment films,” says Wylder. “We call it, ‘edutainment.’” Sexologist Dr. Ava Cadell notes that watching this genre of porn can be a valuable tool for couples. It allows married and committed couples who are interested in exploring non-monogamy, swinging or polyamory to “test the waters” she says, and see what they are getting into before even engaging in this lifestyle. She has created a course on “porn and polyamory” at LoveUniv.com.