Tasha Reign Recounts Talking To Frat Boys About Consent

LOS ANGELES—One doesn't usually think of porn stars and politics as a "match made in heaven," but in the adult community, Tasha Reign, who joined the adult industry in early 2010, is one performer/director whose name is frequently connected to politics. Of course, there was her tireless work with Free Speech Coalition and others in helping to defeat California's Prop 60 in 2016, but perhaps her most challenging and pro-social work has been her lectures to college students about the concept of "consent" in interpersonal relations—and thanks to the recent hearings regarding the nomination of Brett Kavanaugh to the U.S. Supreme Court, even those "consent" talks have become political as well. Apparently in reaction to some of Kavanaugh's statements in front of the Senate Judiciary Committee in September, Reign published an essay which went live today on The Daily Beast website recounting her most recent "consent" talk, this time with students at the Alpha Episilon Pi (AEPi) fraternity on the campus of UCLA, and according to Reign, both the frat members and pledges were quite receptive to what she had to say. While Reign admits that she's sometimes been fearful over the seven years that she's been giving such lectures to students in class and in frat houses, she said she's learned to trust her gut regarding her safety, and that she intuited that this most recent experience would be "warm and welcoming"—and it was. "As I introduced myself, they remained silent and attentive," she wrote. "They gave me the type of respect that I would want my future sons to give women. They subverted the negative image I had of misogynistic frat boys (well, most of them)." Reign said that it's become her practice to pass around a large bowl, into which the students/frat members would write down their questions about consent, sex in general, and how the adult industry works, and put them in the bowl so they wouldn't need to be embarrassed to ask those questions out loud, especially the ones that dealt with the more intimate details of sexual behavior. "Most of the questions that these guys ask are both familiar and shocking," Reign wrote. "I am incredibly impressed by how many of them are well-versed in California’s affirmative consent law—the conscious agreement to engage in sexual activity throughout the entire encounter. That conscious agreement can be verbal or physical, although I warn them about the latter. In my opinion, using your words is the most effective strategy we have in the bedroom. I reiterate to them how imperative this is. I give anecdotal examples from my past that they can relate to. ... The next thing I emphasize is that they have such bright futures, and those futures depend on them upholding their reputations and responsibilities as role models; as the prestigious fraternity brothers that they are. They are in a very privileged position, so I like to remind them of that—and how it all can be thrown away." That last sentence, while obviously recalling the accusations leveled against Kavanaugh by Christine Blasey Ford and Deborah Ramirez, actually referred to convicted rapist Brock Turner, who received what most feel was a very light sentence for his crime, but as Reign claims, "he is serving his own form of societal 'time.' People will never forget." But after dealing with the "consent" issue, Reign answered questions ranging from "how to perform oral sex on women and how to initiate foreplay without being creepy." "They seem to want to learn," she noted. "Maybe they act differently with a few beers in them, because they really 'like beer' [another obvious Kavanaugh reference], so I make sure to let them know that consent means you or your partner can’t be blacked out, or even drunk. That proves to be the most challenging part of our conversation. There are unfortunately many queries like: “What if the girl makes it up—that I did something to her?” That is when I present them with their fear versus reality: Why on earth would a woman want to deal with the public humiliation that follows? What is her reward? I tell them that the chances of that are so incredibly rare that they needn’t worry." In concluding the essay, Reign reveals that she considers giving such talks to be an important public service. "Why am I doing this? Consent is the most important and serious issue that fraternities face, at parties and behind closed doors. Speaking to these young men on this candid level may help prevent them from making poor choices. I tell them to think of me and this conversation when they’re in positions they see as “gray.” As a feminist, I constantly remind myself that men are a product of their environment and women must help shape that environment. We raise men, mold men, and are a part of Greek life. That is why I was there that night, and that is why I will continue on with this advocacy project that’s still in the early stages of development. Because we are all in this together." Truer words ...