Looking for a Hands-Free Way to Get Off? Humpus Will Offer That

BIRMINGHAM, UK—It's something the like of which no one in the AVN offices has ever quite exactly seen, and if it actually works as intended, worldwide sales will probably be in the millions (of pounds, that is, but maybe in number of units sold as well). It's called the Humpus, and it's almost stunning in its simplicity. The unit, which is easily configured for men or women, is a small black box on an elastic belt that straps around the waist and is fitted with either a dildo or stroker sleeve attachment. When set in motion, the base unit moves the attachment up and down in an arc motion "resembling that of natural hand and wrist movement," stimulating the penis in the stroker sleeve or penetrating the vulva with the dildo—and it'll keep doing that until the charge runs out. (We're guessing an AC adapter won't be far behind.) Speed is adjustable from 80-180 revolutions per minute, and the start and stop buttons offer further options for users. The Humpus isn't available yet, but there is currently an IndieGoGo campaign initiated by the eventual manufacturer, Feelgood2 Ltd., for inventor Rob Stephenson (actually, Robert Lewis Stephenson, and there's a cute video on the IndieGoGo site featuring the inventor and his 19th century namesake). The campaign is looking to raise about $80,000 in pre-orders so Feelgood2/Stephenson can afford the parts and equipment to manufacture the product. And while the Humpus is expected to retail for £180 ($243) for either the male or female unit, those who pre-order through the IndiGoGo campaign will get it for £139 ($188). And if you'd like one with both the male and female attachments (let's not forget that anal lovers might just have some use for the female version), that pre-order would be £159 ($213)—and shipping is included for all orders. Another nice thing about the Humpus is that it's tiny and easily stored in small, out-of-the-way places when not in use. "We wouldn't have invested the tens of thousands if we didn't think the Humpus was going to be a global success," Stephenson said in a press release. "Using a machine ... feels like someone else is 'doing the business,' so to speak. It allows you to focus on the fun rather than the function, resulting in mind-wandering pleasurable 'me time' moments." The IndieGoGo site has a lot more information, like noting that the speed control is a smooth ramp rather than preset steps; that the action can be paused "as and when required for perfect 'hit the spot' vibes"; and suggests that couples may want to use the Humpus together for more stimulation than just two hands can deliver. The site also gives specs as to what size penises will fit the device, and shows how to adjust the depth of the dildo plunge. There's just one month left on the campaign, so those interested may want to check it out soon.