Hey Anthony Weiner: Ready For Sex Work Yet?

NEW YORK CITY—Even as the armchair psychiatrists and anti-porn moralists debate whether former Congressman Anthony Weiner's continuing to send sexy tweets to his women fans means that he's somehow "addicted to porn"—hint: he isn't; it's just OCD—adult companies are stepping up to offer him jobs in a field that might be better suited to his proclivities than politics: porn. For instance, Dennis Hof, owner of the Bunny Ranch legal brothel and star of HBO’s Cathouse reality-TV series, has offered Weiner a full-time position as "Director Of Social Media" at his Nevada bordello. Ex-pol Weiner was outed recently by The New York Post in his third tweeting/sexting sex scandal to date. As a result, Weiner's wife Huma Abedin, a senior aide to Democratic presidential candidate Hillary Clinton, immediately announced that she and her husband were separating. “This guy is a great orator, and his political career demonstrated that," said Hof. “Clearly, Weiner's communication skills also extend into the world of digital media, and that is a huge component of the regulated hooker business in 2016. The very thing that killed Weiner in politics and prompted his wife to leave him is a highly valued skill at the Bunny Ranch. As the Bunny Ranch’s Social Media Director, having an insatiable appetite for sexually-charged posting is not only encouraged, it’s part of the job description!” Hof's offer includes matching Wiener’s former congressional salary, complete with full benefits for him and his young son. Further, Hof says that he will instruct the 500-plus legal prostitutes that he employs to each follow Weiner on Twitter so that he can direct-message them explicit pictures of his anatomy whenever the mood strikes him. “I think Weiner will find that joining 'Team Bunny Ranch' would be the completion of a process of embracing the freedom to be himself, that sadly is probably starting with the dissolution of his marriage,” Hof speculated. "So many Bunny Ranch clients like Weiner come to us because they feel sexually repressed and judged by society for their unusual desires. I’ve made a fortune by providing the outlet for these guys to find peace within themselves. I think having someone like Weiner as my messenger, who’s been in that dark mental place where those clients have found themselves, will be a huge asset to the Bunny Ranch brand.” Hof points out that years ago, he himself befriended Sydney Leathers—the subject of a previous Weiner Twitter scandal—when he discovered that Leathers was a fan of the Cathouse show. “Who knows? Maybe we can reunite the two of them here at the Bunny Ranch!” Hof suggested. Meanwhile, over at Porn.com, Charles Anderson, the site's vice president, would like to pay Weiner an unspecified salary to write a monthly advice column for the site, to be titled "Dear Mr. Weiner." "This is a serious and sincere offer as we wish to appoint Anthony Weiner our first-ever, love and sex columnist for Porn.com,” Anderson told PageSix.com's Oil Coleman. Weiner's duties would include penning a blog where “he would offer advice, as well as comment on trends in porn,” and that “he would also rate his favorite adult films.” “The beauty of this for Mr. Weiner is he would be able to spend his day immersed in sex, sexting as often as he likes and would be paid (handsomely) for his time,” Anderson stated, stopping short of naming an actual salary figure. Still, we can't help but wonder: Can a celeb sex tape offer from Vivid be far behind?