Girls' Night With Jessica Drake: Learning How to Have Wicked Sex

This article originally ran in the August 2015 issue of AVN magazine. Click here to read the online edition. LOS ANGELES—If the adult industry’s studios and sex toy manufacturers got together to create the quintessential brand ambassador, she would look a lot like Jessica Drake. Gracious, well-spoken and thoroughly diplomatic, she’s just the person to represent an industry that still makes some people uncomfortable. As a contract performer, she’s been a powerful spokesperson for Wicked Pictures. On any given week, the adult star might be somewhere on the road, speaking at public events or promoting her Guide to Wicked Sex educational movies and meeting fans at adult boutiques. But Drake recently embarked on a new adventure: a “girls night out” gathering outside the public arena of the university or the retail store where the veteran performer could get together with a group of women to talk about sex—freely, candidly, without any judgment. “Although I do many seminars and enjoy speaking at universities, this is going to be a unique event,” Drake said before her first foray, which took place June 25. “Instead of a workshop, this is going to be more of a participation-driven roundtable discussion of all things sex! No topic is off limits, and all questions will be answered,” she said. She test-drove the concept with a roomful of women at the Cornell Winery, a rustic spot in the Santa Monica Mountains. Women of varying ages entered the group tasting room in the back, clutching glasses of wine, not quite sure what to expect. Trays of finger food, including hearty doses of cheese and chocolate—two of the key food groups at female-focused events—were laid out on a long group table, along with candles and a decorative box into which the attendees had been asked to place slips of paper with questions they wanted Drake to address. Soft-spoken and articulate, Drake began by setting some ground rules. One point was obvious: the importance of respecting everyone’s privacy and anonymity. The other, as Drake said puckishly: “Don’t yuck our yum.” In other words, it takes different strokes for different folks—and Drake was there to talk about all of those strokes, from the hardest to the softest. A gorgeous blonde with enviably long hair and even longer legs, Drake quickly had the crowd charmed. One by one, she pulled questions out of the box on the table and offered practical answers to questions that she’s no doubt fielded many times before. Drake started off with foreplay, appropriately enough, noting that when done correctly, a leisurely warm-up session will improve sensitivity, decrease the pain threshold and intensify orgasms. And speaking of those climaxes, she noted, an estimated 85 percent of women orgasm from clitoral stimulation—not surprising given that the “little man in the boat” is equipped with 8,000 nerve endings. From there was a natural segue to self-love, with Drake reassuring the ladies that it’s OK if they have more intense orgasms through masturbation. “I’m the best I’ve ever had,” she joked. Soon the questions moved out of the box, with participants asking about what was really on their minds. How to give a great blowjob? Hands and mouth, yes; teeth, no—and plenty of spit coupled with enthusiasm. What about anal? Do the prep work—and Fleet enemas are your friend. Drake also provided visual aids, using a realistic dildo to demonstrate blowjob techniques and passing around various toys for the women to examine—including an open bottle of her favorite lube, Wicked Sensual Care’s Salted Caramel. But most heartfelt was the talk about how to redirect a mate’s energy if he’s too tightly tied to the tried and true. Faced with this problem, she explained, it’s best to accentuate the positive—focus on what he can do right rather than what he’s doing wrong. With a dozen Guide to Wicked Sex titles under her garter belt, Drake likely had the answer to most anything the crowd could have thrown at her. But the technical information she provided was far less important than the feeling of acceptance that filled the space. One could hear the excitement in these women’s voices as they realized that they really could ask anything without the fear of even a raised eyebrow. One woman in particular took the opportunity to explore in some detail what made her tick sexually, trying to figure out why clitoral stimulation just didn’t do it for her. After a discussion of G-spot orgasms, it clicked for her: That type of climax was her yum—and nobody was about to say there was anything wrong with that. To keep apprised of upcoming events featuring Drake, go to GuideToWickedSex.com.