On the Set: Relative Insanity and 'Modern Family XXX'

This article originally ran in the April 2015 issue of AVN magazine. Click here to see the issue online. Modern Family is one of those iconic TV shows that’s taken America by storm—and has certainly polarized many viewers, who generally either love it or hate it. Fortunately, Hustler Video, courtesy of director Andre Madness and scripter Marc Star, have created a way for all porn-loving TV viewers to both laugh at parodies of the show’s characters and get off on them. “Drew [Rose] gave me a call about six months back, and asked me if I’d be interested in talking about a special project he had in mind,” Madness said. “He came to me because I don’t always say yes to projects I’m not familiar with, but he happened to pick one that I’m a big fan of the show, so we watched the show, had a great laugh, went over some of the casting that we were going to be doing, and that’s how I assembled this cast. The guys connect; everybody’s spot on with their characters and I love it; we got really lucky with that, and getting them all available, it’s taken that long.” And there’s no denying that the casting was truly inspired. For those who don’t know, Modern Family consists of a patriarch, Jay (Ed O’Neill), who’s divorced with three children but remarried to a much younger wife, Gloria, played beautifully by Sofia Vergara. One of Jay’s children is Claire (Julie Bowen), a homemaker married to Phil, while Jay’s son Mitchell (Jesse Tyler Ferguson) is gay and married to Cameron (Eric Stonestreet). “Andre contacted me about playing this role, and he goes, ‘I don’t know anybody else that can pull off the character of Jay, played by Ed O’Neill, other than you’,” Dick Chibbles recalled. “I said, ‘Hey, look, I’d love to do it; thank you very much for the opportunity.’ So I watched a few episodes and even offered to cut my hair like Jay’s, who’s balding. Jay is kind of the patriarch of the whole family, and I have my wife, Gloria, who is Luna Star, who’s absolutely stunning and she’s hilarious because she has that Spanish accent, and I have a very difficult time understanding what she’s saying, very similar to the actual show, which is great. “Her and I, we kind of have this discussion about exploring our boundaries,” he continued, “and lo and behold, we end up at this swing club, and it’s almost like a Three’s Company kind of thing where it’s wrong place, right time, you hear the wrong part of the conversation and everything turns into mayhem and everyone ends up naked and having sex!” But the scene we were invited to be present for was between Ryan McLane, who definitely has the look to play the part of Mitchell, and Jade Nile, who spent the afternoon in a sort of “Princess Leia” outfit. Seems that Cameron, played to a tee by James Bartholet, has gotten the idea that hubby Mitchell isn’t really gay anymore, so to prove it to himself one way or the other, Cam traps Mitchell in a bedroom with Jade, and if the pair find each other attractive enough, Cam’s suspicions will be confirmed. “While I want to be respectful and not play a gay character in a very stereotypical way, this is a porn parody we’re doing, so I’ve got to go a little bit over the top with this, and they’ve been so gracious to let me improv, because you know me: I love to improv,” Bartholet noted. “So I’m adding little nuances in there, so there’s a little bit of Cam and a little bit of Nathan Lane from The Birdcage—there’s all of that stuff in there. And I’m a straight guy playing a gay role and it’s kind of fun; it’s a nice stretch as an actor.” The McLane/Nile scene (pictured above) begins when Bartholet shoves McLane into a bathroom where he’s previously trapped Nile—but the bathroom has a back door into a bedroom, and that’s where the pair find themselves as the sex begins. Of course, there’s the obligatory blowjob, which perhaps inspires McLane to chow down on Nile’s pussy—love her moans!—and from there, the couple essay five positions—both cowgirl directions, mish, doggie and spoon, with plenty of b.j. in between, until McLane pulls out and cums on Nile’s luscious ass cheeks. Also worth looking out for: brunette beauty Cassidy Banks, who plays Haley, the older daughter of Claire (played by Britney Amber). “I’m a little bit nasty,” Banks admitted. “I get to work with Tommy Gunn, so I’m pretty excited about that. I love Modern Family, especially Haley; Haley’s my favorite girl, so I’m honored to be playing her part.” Considering how much this cast resembles the mainstream one, and how easily they work together, it feels like the start of a long-running franchise. (Pictured above from left, Katrina Jade, Jade Nile, Britney Amber, Luna Star, Cassidy Banks.) Modern Family XXX will be released by Hustler Video in early April. Above, Jade Nile and Ryan McLane