DA In Jesus Fellatio Case Is a Secret Nick Manning Fan

EVERETT, PA—The mainstream press went a bit nuts late last week when news broke that a 14-year-old Everett boy had been arrested on orders from Bedford County prosecutor Bill Higgins, Jr.. The kid's crime? He posted, on Facebook, photos of himself simulating fellatio (that's a blowjob, for you less literate types) with a statue of Jesus on the front lawn of the Love in the Name of Christ Ministry in Everett. The charge? "Desecration of a Venerated Object"—or, in more common terms, essentially "blasphemy." The 1927(!) law says that a person commits a misdemeanor of the second degree if he (or she): (1) "intentionally desecrates any public monument or structure, or place of worship or burial"; or (2) "intentionally desecrates any other object of veneration by the public or a substantial segment thereof in any public place," with "desecration" defined as "Defacing, damaging, polluting or otherwise, physically mistreating in a way that the actor knows will outrage the sensibilities of persons likely to observe or discover the action." It's a charge that could land the kid in prison for up to two years. Trouble is, the ministry in question never asked for the kid to be prosecuted. In fact, after he showed at their offices one day and apologized to the ministry's owners, they told news station WTAJ that "they would be happy to see the teen serve nothing more than community service, and that they would be happy to have the teen perform that community service at their ministry center." But Higgins, apparently a right-wing ideologue, wasn't about to be dissuaded. He tweeted a bunch of links about the event to several conservative television hosts with the title "Christianity under attack," and posted to his Facebook page, "I guess I should take solace in the fact that the liberals are mad at me—again. As for this case, this troubled young man offended the sensibilities and morals of OUR community.… His actions constitute a violation of the law, and he will be prosecuted accordingly. If that tends to upset the 'anti-Christian, ban-school-prayer, war-on-Christmas, oppose-display-of-Ten-Commandments' crowd, I make no apologies." A real sweetheart, eh? But that's not the half of it! Seems that crossover adult actor Nick Manning, who's well known for his religious views and often talks about them in depth, was checking out his online fandom earlier this month, and noticed that his appearance on The Howard Stern Show on July 18, 2011, where he discussed the meaning of his often-used catchphrase "Droppin' loads!", had been "favorited" by none other than... Bill Higgins, Jr.! "I liked a @YouTube video http://t.co/tQmzVYal9X Howard Stern – Dropping Loads with Nick Manning," Higgins, who tweets under "@BillHigg," posted on August 16, 2014—but has since removed from both his personal YouTube page and his Twitter account. But not quickly enough! Seems that Drew Johnson, editorial writer for The Washington Times, caught wind of the post—and recognized the hypocrisy. "Not only is Mr. Higgins hell-bent on ruining a 14-year-old's life by sending him to jail for a harmless prank, he is behaving like a grade-A hypocrite in the process," Johnson wrote. "On August 15, Mr. Higgins posted a YouTube clip on his personal Twitter account of radio legend Howard Stern interviewing porn star Nick Manning. The video features audio clips of Mr. Manning loudly performing with his female co-stars, calling them 'nasty pigs' and ordering them to engage in sex acts that many American would find revolting. "Mr. Higgins believes that when a high school freshman puts his pants near a concrete statue, it offends 'the sensibilities and morals of OUR community'," Johnson added. "Yet when an elected official and community leader tweets audio clips of hardcore pornography that many would find both wildly offensive and degrading to women, the values and dignity of the community remain intact—at least in Mr. Higgins' warped brain." For his part, Manning has issued a challenge to Higgins to debate the ramifications of teen punishments when it comes to defamation of religious iconography. (No word yet as to Higgins' response, if any.) For more information, try accessing Manning's Twitter feed and/or his official website. *** "You! Hypocritical speaker—my twin—my brother."—From the poem Flowers of Evil (1857) by Charles Baudelaire, via T.S. Eliot's The Wasteland.