BART Investigating Lame Porn Video Shot on Train

SAN FRANCISCO—The Bay area’s BART is promising to find the people who supposedly shot a porno on one of their trains and ban them from using BART for a year. That’s a steep price to pay for a one-minute porn shoot, but some people like to walk on the wild side. BART cops are up to the challenge and say they will find their shaggers, whose video has gone viral. "Lewd activity is not only highly inappropriate on BART, it's highly illegal," said police spokeswoman Luna Salaver. "It can and will get you banned from the entire system. We will prosecute people if we can positively identify people for such behavior on a train." Fine, whatever, but maybe BART should wait to focus its resources on a video where you can actually see something. If the version we saw (still available here) is the extent of what happened, it’s hard to say that anyone was getting laid on that train. It could just as well have been a fake fuck, a fuck fraud, which is something no one should ever perpetrate on the public. That alone is worth a BART ban. BART could care less, though. Hardly tasked with assessing the video’s authenticity as fap material, all it cares about is that the shit was shot on a BART train, thus triggering a new law. “The video comes just two months after BART began enforcing a highly publicized new state law that gives the agency power to ban for up to a year riders caught committing a range of crimes and infractions that vary from assault to urinating on board,” reported Mercury News. “Since enforcement began on May 6, BART has issued 32 ‘prohibition orders’ banning riders, including five for indecent exposure. Battery and robbery were also common violations, though people have also been barred from BART for fighting, selling drugs, breaking out weapons and attempted kidnapping.” In light of media interest in the alleged porn video, you can bet BART cops are working overtime trying to ID the couple in the vid. We hope they find them and spank them for making such a shitty video, but anything more than a spanking seems excessive to us. You should only be banned by BART for a year if genitalia are visible. That’s got to be there somewhere in the law.