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February 01, 2013

The Braun Supremacy: Axel's Director of the Year Three-peat

CHATSWORTH, Calif.—The man is unstoppable: For the third consecutive year, parody wizard Axel Braun has been crowned AVN's Director of the Year (Body of Work) ... perhaps not the biggest surprise given that his output since crowning number two has included such extravagant and widely lauded blockbusters as Star Wars XXX: A Porn Parody, The Dark Knight XXX: A Porn Parody, This Ain't Avatar 2 XXX 3D: Escape From Pandwhora and This Ain't The Expendables XXX 3D. And yet, this time around, Axel was genuinely caught off guard. "I foolishly assumed that after bestowing this massive honor upon me for two years in a row, the voters just couldn't tolerate me any longer," Braun quipped astonishedly. He added that his hopes of winning were further diminished by "the fact that Eddie Powell made some amazing movies." And Powell isn't the only fellow director Braun feels is doing notice-worthy work. He propounded, "William H. is the most underrated gonzo director out there. Kimberly Kane has shot some excellent stuff. Joanna Angel is impossibly inventive and entertaining, and plays in a league of her own. And Graham Travis better not try and start making superhero movies." All tough competition. Which begs the question, what is Axel Braun's master plan for staying at the front of the porno pack? "I believe I have entertained thoughts of complete porn domination since the day I was born," he cracked. "The game plan has always been to do the best work I possibly could, and to constantly try and top myself. Sadly, the topping myself part is starting to get really difficult." Could he keep the streak going and be looking at a four-peat this time next year? There's no telling the future, but it certainly looks bright with Superman vs. Spider-Man XXX: A Porn Parody already getting raves and megaproductions on the way including This Ain't Terminator XXX 3D, Grease XXX, Batman XXX 2 and of course The Empire Strikes Back XXX. "Can you feel the pressure?" Braun mused. "Now I'm gonna have to seriously step up my game. Jeez."

 
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