'Rare Mushroom' Is Really Fake Vagina

LIUCUNBU, China—A news report about the possible discovery of a rare mushroom has gone viral after viewers notified the reporter and new agency that the object was in fact a masturbator. The “discovery” was first reported by reporter Yunfeng Ye, who works for the investigative journalism program Xi’an Up Close. Ye was initially dispatched to the rural village of Liucunbu after residents, who were drilling a new well shaft, found a “flexible, fungi-like object,” ABC News reported. “The report opens with Ye proclaiming the discovery of the mysterious object, the likes of which ‘not even an 80-year-old local man has seen,’” ABC News wrote. “Villagers crouch around the object, floating innocently in a water-filled bucket. ‘It has an eye and a nose, but we don't know what it is!’ says a man who was among the drillers who discovered the sex toy.” Ye goes into great detail describing the object, noting “this looks like a type of fungus, on both ends of which you’ll find mushroom heads. “On this side, you can see what looks like a pair of lips,” she continues, according to various reports. “And on that side, there is a tiny hole which extends all the way back to this side.” While villagers and Ye were convinced the object was a type of lingshi mushroom, a rare mushroom found deep underground and believed to have been enjoyed by China’s first emperor, savvy viewers soon set the record straight for the station. They accurately identified the item as a stroker with a vaginal opening on one end and an anal opening on the other. The show issued a statement the next day on Sina Weibo, a Chinese blogging site. “Hi everyone, one of our news reports which aired last night has made everyone laugh. This incident has been widely followed, shared and commented on,” the statement said. “As our reporter was still very young and unwise to the ways of the world, this report has brought great inconvenience to everyone.” Throwing a young reporter under the bus … we can almost understand and forgive that. But the cameraman, producer and every other staff member of the show didn’t realize what it was? Aren’t those one of the major exports from their country? For shame!