What's More Damaging, Seconds of Porn or Hours of Religion?

COLORADO SPRINGS, CO—Most if not all of the news headlines about this story state that explicit porn was inadvertently aired by Comcast instead of the regularly scheduled Good Morning America. The snafu took place Thursday morning at about 4:15 a.m. on a local channel serving two towns in Colorado, one of which just happens to be a hotbed of religious evangelism.   According to the Daily Mail, "Appalled viewers in Colorado Springs and Pueblo took to the internet to vent their anger at Comcast's news channel KRDO mistake." A recent subscriber to Comcast, Clay Clarkson, told a local paper, The Gazette, "I usually watch Good Morning America, and the channel was flickering, so I flipped to another channel. When I flipped back, hardcore pornography was showing on the channel.” Other alleged viewers also cried foul, voicing their displeasure on the Facebook page of the local channel, KRDO, which blamed human error at Comcast for the glitch. “My 7-year-old was watching porn instead of your news,” complained Megan Ortiz. “I’ve been on the phone already this morning after the porn that was broadcast while my daughter was eating breakfast!,” wrote Karrie Kuklish. “I’m outraged!!! Sick!” Sounds pretty bad, doesn't it? Hardcore porn awash on the airwaves while little ones are tearing into their Fruit Loops! The only problem is, the porn was inadvertently shown for only a few seconds, after which the local ABC channel played two hours of religious programming.  And we're expected to believe that these parents actually got their kids up at 4:15 a.m.? What, does first grade now start at 6 a.m. in Colorado Springs? Did they have farm chores to do first? And what 7-year-old watches "your news" anyway? Give me a break. The far greater likelihood here is that Megan and Karrie are completely full of shit and used the mishap to get in a little media bashing. But let's give them the benefit of the doubt, okay? Let's assume they really did drag their kids out of bed before the sun was up. In that case, at that hour, which of the following would cause the most damage to those kids—(A) being exposed to a few seconds of porn, (B) sitting through two hours of religious programming or (C) being forced to get up at 4:15 a.m. by your wacko mom? (Answers below) Answers: In order of harmfulness, from most to least, B, C, A.