HPV is No CaJOELing Matter

LOS ANGELES—When, earlier this month, the daughter of the Uptown Girl managed to contract an STD downstairs, she went off the charts. Alexa Ray Joel, daughter of singer Billy Joel and model Christie Brinkley, middle-named after singer Ray Charles, was blindsided by the fact that boyfriends can carry more than a wallet and car keys in their pants. In the case of hers, the carrier had an STD called HPV, or the Human Papilloma Virus. How Alexa learned that she had it has not been disclosed, though more likely than not, awareness came through a pap smear, something most women know all about and most men wonder of with abashed curiosity. But she told xoJane.com, "I had it, but I mean, a lot of people get it from my ex … There are no side effects. You just go and get it taken care of. ... I wasn't angry with him, because it's so common and he wasn't cheating on me. I mean, I was living with him; I saw him every day."? Hmmm … A lot of people get it from her ex makes one wonder if she was dating Magic Johnson (the only person to have been cured of HIV … well, according to him). The fact of the matter is that HPV can be a deadly disease with devastating consequences. While most females have few long-term effects, the infection persists in 5-10 percent of women, and can lead to cervical cancer, necessitating a hysterectomy, or even cause death; nothing to take lightly. In 2008, the virus caused nearly 11,000 outbreaks of cervical cancer and 3,900 deaths. Worldwide, there are an estimated 490,000 cases and 270,000 deaths as a result of the infection. In a minority of cases, HPV can lead to cancer of the anus, cervix, vagina and vulva in women and of the anus and penis in men. It can also cause cancer of the tonsils, tongue and throat through oral sex. There are nearly 200 types of HPV known to exist, the majority of which have no symptoms; some cause genital warts. Most people tend to only find concern from the type that brings genital warts, because it is an outward sign of the disease, readily apparent to their partners and a source of discomfort, especially during sex. But the difference here is the difference between eating chicken that has mold on it and chicken that is infected with botulism. The all-too apparent mold probably won’t kill you, but the invisible botulism most definitely will. HPV is the most common of sexually transmitted disease in the United States. A 2007 report by the American Social Health Association estimated that 75-80 percent of sexually active Americans will be infected with the virus at some point in their lifetime. Viruses are one of the simplest forms of life, rather like crystals with RNA at their core, but because of their hard protein shells, they are very difficult to kill. They cannot replicate on their own. Like the creature in Alien, they require a living host in order to breed. They do not think. They do not care, any more than a hurricane cares about the devastation it creates. They are what they are, because they cannot be anything else. They have done no good for any living creature, short of having thwarted the Martian invasion in H.G. Wells’ The War of the Worlds. While there is no cure for HPV, there is now a vaccine for four of the most common strains. At this time, the CDC has recommended vaccinating all children with the preventative drugs, especially girls from age 11 on. Of course, the FDA, being what it is, has restricted the upper age limit to 26. Anyone older … sex be damned, just take it like a man and exert extreme caution or buckle under. But back to ARJ … Alexa Ray Joel is who she is, in terms of celebrity or otherwise, as a result of her parents. But her words have been listened to, no matter why or how they came to be spoken, and therein lies her responsibility to not make light of such things. Adding insult to injury, Perez Hilton, commented, “Wow, that sucks!! But it’s prob the best one to get. We mean, out of all of ’em, that does sound like the easiest to get rid of.” Wrong, Perez; and wrong, Alexa. HPV is not some tummy ache you get from eating too much ice cream. It’s a sometimes-deadly disease that comes from having sex with the sexually unconcerned. For when the threat of cancer or even death hangs over the infected like the sword of Damocles, the point should be well taken, because even the strongest of ropes can break. Don Austen is the founder of Thursday's Child, a national charity for endangered youth. During the holiday season, often a difficult time for at-risk youth, any donations to Thursday’s Child will be appreciated beyond words. Photo: Courtesy of Don Austen