Breakthrough: Johnson & Johnson Discovers Lesbians!

TELEVISONLAND—Surely everyone by now has seen those K-Y lube commercials where a couple is discussing the fantastic dinner they just had, or how much they liked seeing a particular movie, the subtext of which is that they love fucking each other (complete with fireworks) and using some form of K-Y lube just makes it better. But so far, all of those couples have been hetero: One man and one woman. Until now: On September 5, K-Y will release a new ad for their K-Y Intense product, titled "Alex and Emma"—and Alex ain't no dude! "K-Y INTENSE is different than any K-Y Brand product," reads the press release for the new commercial. "It's not a personal lubricant—it is a female arousal gel scientifically shown to enhance female pleasure, arousal and satisfaction during intimacy. In fact, 75% of women in consumer studies experienced heightened arousal, sexual pleasure and sensitivity...where it counts most. And of those women, 90% reported INTENSE bettered the overall experience for the couple, which is what K-Y is all about." Just let that sink in for a moment: A major manufacturer, Johnson & Johnson, which in the past has had its run-ins with religious conservatives, is actually acknowledging that such things as lesbian couples exist! Not only that: They have sex with each other! Not only that, but as blogger Vanessa writes on Feministing.com, "It's perhaps the only ad I've seen referring to lesbians having sex that doesn't portray them as oversexualized, objectified and not really gay but just performing for dudes' pleasure." The ad, transcribed below and which can be seen here, follows the usual K-Y formula: Alex: "People always ask us how we stay together for so long, and I think that it's communication." Emma: "And K-Y Intense." Alex: "I'm sorry, what —" Emma: "I bought this K-Y Intense. I was going to tell you — it's this gel that stimulates arousal so that the big moment will feel like nothing we've ever felt before. It's scientifically proven to —" (Fireworks, followed by couple in bed together, smiling, under the covers) Alex: "Good purchase." As the K-Y press release notes, the bottle has a pump "for easy, non-messy application"; includes a "designer pouch for discreet storage"; and is allergy tested, hormone and paraben-free. But of course, none of that will matter to, say, the Family Research Council, which will only see LESBIANS! IN BED! SMILING! (Quick; somebody hand Matt Barber the smelling salts!)