Patch Porn in Waukesha

WAUKESHA, Wis.—If you haven’t seen a Patch site for your neck of the woods, you will soon. They’re invading the nation faster and more efficiently than killer bees, thanks to AOL and the Huffington Post. The idea is to divvy up the nation into local news … patches … reinventing the way … um … news is made or delivered, or something. Arianna understands the concept far better than I do.   But some of the reporting, especially when it involves sex and porn, especially rural sex and porn, is mightily entertaining. This morning, the following news items jumped out at me, courtesy of the Waukesha Patch: “A Waukesha woman reported to police at 9:29 a.m. Sunday that she was scared because she told a man she met on the Internet that she was no longer into the bondage scene and that she did not want to see him, according to the Waukesha Police Department call log,” posted the site administrator, Sarah Millard. “The woman told police the man had asked her to be his mistress and said he was coming over to her residence. The woman said the man did not know where she lived.” Love that one, but the next item culled from calls to the Waukesha police department is equally precious. “A person reported at 7:37 a.m. Monday that an adult magazine that was covered in a black bag was tampered with in the mailbox in the 2300 block of Judith Lane and a person inserted a religious card inside of the magazine,” the site reported. What’s great about these tidbits is that they exist independent of any outcome or resolution, like scenes plucked from a movie with no context. Not quite complete news but certainly real life, they allow the reader’s imagination to fill in the blanks, to write the ending, and really, what could be more satisfying than that? It's an aspect of this sort of police blotter coverage that is not limited to items about sex and porn, to be sure. Take the following item, for instance. “A juvenile reportedly was being uncontrollable at 7:45 p.m. Sunday in the 1100 block of Delafield Street." Alert the media!